I am writing this blog as this time is the when most of our buddies are at the verge of entering into the new life called "married life". So its nice time to write some thing on marriage or preface to marriage, So called girl hunting.
Other day day my buddy Harsh and me started expressing our views over a topic and soon the casual chat became the discussion and discussion into argument, well rather let me put it as debate. Its always the case, we just keep debating on the issues very seldom do we come to conclusions or mutual agreement.
Discussion was about when to stop searching for girl in case of arranged marriage. Unlike in love marriage, in arranged you have so many wide array of options to select a girl and constraints as well. Given all those options and constraints when do you think "Enough is enough" to the search and say she is THE girl I want to marry
My buddy comes back with his own marketing/HR/Entrepreneur answer and says
1. there are only 0.1% things/people that we know
2. There are 1% things/people we know that we dont know
3. There 99% things/people which we dont know that we we dont know.
Hehehehe confused? even I did :-)
His point is trying to know the things "which u dont know". So we should be not limited to things ...we should explore and widen the horizon...
My argument is that instead of widening the horizon (by trying to know the things we know we dont know or knowing what we dont know) its more meaningful to know more in depath about the things we know. Its basically deepening the depth rather than widening the horizon.
Coming back to girl thing, my point is instead of keeping searching for new girls, knowing more about the girls u already have seen n finalising within the range, Instead of keep on searching for new girls.
Even what i know from married people is that they married to their spouse not because they found the best they were looking for but its more because they tired of searching and then they settled with whatever was available at that point of time. In only few people would say i searched exhaustively n i got what i wanted. The point is basically you would have started the search with some requirements and as u go on the requirements keep changing based on girls you reject or if girl rejects you. But if you ask with guys/girls who are married, most of them would tell "it doesn't matter how much u search, it doesn't matter how best girl/guy u think u got but what matters is how best u adjust/adapt after marriage".
Some pessimist would say "In life you have to marry some point to some one and lead the rest of the life some how" or some optimist would say "Its one life I have i want best girl and enjoy my rest of life".
No matter what kind of person u are, optimistic/pessimistic, no matter how long u search or no matter weather its a love or arranged marriage ultimately u there will be ups n downs in the married life, there will be problems there be solutions to those problems, there will be smiles, there will be tears, and after all thats what is life all about.
Its nicely put in these lines ...
Zindagi Hai To Khwaab Hai
Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai
Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai
Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai
Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai
Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai ......"
Monday, October 5, 2009
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3 comments:
Its human nature not to be happy with what he has/got and the same is applicable when it comes to marriage...
Deepening the depth is nothing but VERTICALLY approaching "Widening Horizonz"
You never know when the depth is reached and then again start looking for another depth ..
I know it sounds confusing but thats ok :):)
Nywyz good writing...
its never ending debate :)
Love to read them...
Keep posting.
Cheers
Vanita
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